just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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