just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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