is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
