why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
