yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
