i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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