yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
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He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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