I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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