The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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