I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
