I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
