That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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