bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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