I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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