20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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