I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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