What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
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and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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