My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
