nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
There's even glitter on my cock...
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