dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
