I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
