We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
