bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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