I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
