I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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