I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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