if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
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Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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