Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
