What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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