tell your sister to shave her snatch
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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