So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
