its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
