Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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