HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
