I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
