Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
