im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize