Is it normal to miss your booty call?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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