i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it hurts more in the daytime
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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