i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
