Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel

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(513): View more from Ohio

god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.

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(954): View more from Florida

Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.

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(650): View more from California

I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos

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