sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
