i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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