he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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