Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
