Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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