I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
