just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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