dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
