Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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