Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
