I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
