i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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