no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
