I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I love you.
Bad choice
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