just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize