just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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