If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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