im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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