she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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