Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
