I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
