Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
