Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
