i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
