Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
